What feelings are commonly expressed by an abuser in stage 3 of the cycle of violence?

In stage 3 of the cycle of violence, it is common for an abuser to express feelings of regret and remorse. This stage follows the tension-building phase and the acute incident phase, where violence occurs. In the aftermath of the abusive incident, an abuser may feel guilty about their actions, often leading to emotional outbursts that can be characterized by apologies, promises to change, and expressions of sadness.

This emotional response can serve multiple purposes. It may be a genuine feeling of remorse, but often it is a tactic to re-establish control and manipulate the victim into returning to a state of compliance. The abuser might believe that expressing regret will make their partner more forgiving and willing to stay in the relationship. For the victim, these expressions can create confusion about the abuser's true intentions, as they might look for signs of change in the abuser’s behavior.

Other emotional states such as anger and hostility are more typical during the initial stages of the cycle, while indifference and apathy might indicate a disconnect or lack of emotional involvement, which doesn't align with the emotional volatility seen in this stage. Joy and excitement would not appropriately reflect the consequences of violent behavior and are not characteristic of an abuser's reaction in this context.